When my children were younger i was separated from them and unable to contact them for many months, it was an unbearable situation. Here are a few things I learned during that horrible time.
There was a man that had a son long ago. The king of a foreign country besieged his nation and prevailed against it. the king took lots of possessions and several of the young men, including this mans son. He watched as his son was carried away from him captive, having no idea what would happen to his son. What anguish and fear he must have felt, what sorrow. The boys name was Daniel, the rest of the story is in the book of Daniel in the bible. Daniels dad’s name we don’t know, but God does. God knows exactly what it is like to lose your son, and your daughter.
There was a boy long ago whose parents had to make a very hard decision. they lived in a country that oppressed them and made them slaves. they suffered hard bondage, but kept increasing. when the leader of that country saw that there were so many of them he made a new law.
And Pharaoh charged all his people, saying, Every son that is born ye shall cast into the river, and every daughter ye shall save alive. Ex 1:22
if they kept the child the government would kill him, so his mother decided to obey the law and cast him in the rive… but she put him in a basket first. He floated around for awhile and then landed at the feet of the Pharoahs daughter who was bathing in the river, who took him as her own son.
What could Moses’ mother have possibly thought of this? She was no doubt relieved that her sons life was spared, but he was now the son of Pharoahs daughter! He would be raised in the palace of a nation that didn’t mind treating people as slaves with extreme cruelty, a country that was so ungodly that it would kill all those children with no remorse. He would be taught in their schools, play with their children, grow up and live as Egyptians did in those days. Was she concerned about him being corrupted, injured, his soul being lost? The bible doesn’t say anything about his time as a youth, but the next time it talks about him is when he has murdered an Egyptian that was mistreating one of the Hebrews. When it came out from the other Hebrews that Moses had killed the Egyptian the Pharoah heard about it and Moses had to flee into the wilderness.
Did his mother think, oh Lord, what now. I spared my sons life, gave him over to the care of a godless family, he grew up and killed a man, and now is gone forever, I don’t know where he is, I wonder if I will ever see him again in this life or the next. She had no idea that God would use her son to set the whole nation of Israel free with such mighty miracles the world had never seen.
There was a woman Hagar that was a servant of Abrahams wife that got pregnant when they were trying to fulfill Gods promise for Him, because it is hard to wait for God to fulfill His own promises. When the child Hagar had with Abraham was about 13 years old, Abrahams wife Sarah sent her and the child away to the desert with nothing because God’s promise to her about having her own child was finally fulfilled by God himself and she didn’t want that other woman around anymore. Abraham gave them a bottle of water and some bread before they left and he was sad. And Hagar and her son wandered in the desert awhile and when the water was all gone Hagar sat down and cried, she laid her son under a bush so she didn’t have to watch him die. Then the bible says:
And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink. Gen 21:17-19
What really jumped out at me when reading this is that it says God heard the voice of the lad. Not “God heard the voice of the mighty Spirit filled woman or man of God who were walking in righteousness and praying fervently” not “God heard the voice of the mom crying in sorrow” but rather “God heard the voice of the lad” God hears our children. He loves them even more than we do.
One very difficult thing i realized about having children is that the gospel, the good news starts at the cross and is subject to the Sovereignty of God. We should always pray for our children, pray for our spouses, pray for our relatives, but we have to leave it up to God whether they will be saved or not. Some have taught that because a man and woman are Christians their children will also be Christians, but the lord doesn’t have grandchildren, only children. Our children have to decide for themselves. I grieved for a long time when I read this, I prayed for a lot of days until I felt Jesus peace and was able to just leave it all up to Him.
Neither, because they are the seed of Abraham, are they all children: but, In Isaac shall thy seed be called. That is, They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God: but the children of the promise are counted for the seed. For this is the word of promise, At this time will I come, and Sara shall have a son. And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac; (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;) unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated. What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth. Romans 9:7-18
No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:44
But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father. John 6:64-65
Jesus own brethren didn’t believe in Him.
After these things Jesus walked in Galilee: for he would not walk in Jewry, because the Jews sought to kill him. Now the Jews’ feast of tabernacles was at hand. His brethren therefore said unto him, Depart hence, and go into Judaea, that thy disciples also may see the works that thou doest. For there is no man that doeth any thing in secret, and he himself seeketh to be known openly. If thou do these things, shew thyself to the world. For neither did his brethren believe in him. John 7:1-5
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. John 15:16
sometimes we have to let the dead bury the dead, and forget our fathers house…
And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead. Matt 8:21-22
Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father’s house; 11 So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him. Psalms 45:10-11
Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children, whom thou mayest make princes in all the earth. Psalms 45:16
The church that is at Babylon, elected together with you, saluteth you; and so doth Marcus my son. 1 Peter 5:13
I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother’s children. Psalms 69:8
sometimes we will have an assurance from the Lord about our childrens salvation, even though we might not see any visible sign of it yet. And Jesus does save whole families sometimes:
And he departed thence, and entered into a certain man’s house, named Justus, one that worshipped God, whose house joined hard to the synagogue. And Crispus, the chief ruler of the synagogue, believed on the Lord with all his house; and many of the Corinthians hearing believed, and were baptized. Acts 18:7-8
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Gal 3:28
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Matt 19:14
God setteth the solitary in families… Psalms 68:6
He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord. Psalms 113:9
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 1:4
But sometimes we let our desire to see our children’s salvation become a heavy burden. I was reading the following in the Old Testament and it struck me how heavy the breastplate of judgment was. It was made of lots of heavy gold and jewels and it was for the priest to intercede for the 12 tribes of Israel with.
And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of gold, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it. Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof. And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row. Ex 28:15-17
And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve… And thou shalt make upon the breastplate chains… And thou shalt make upon the breastplate two rings of gold… Ex 28:21-23
And Aaron shall bear the names of the children of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart, when he goeth in unto the holy place, for a memorial before the Lord continually. Ex 28:29
Jesus said :
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30
Wherefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our profession, Christ Jesus; Heb 3:1
For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; 1 Tim 2:5
the Lord showed me that He is quite able to protect our children~
And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. John 17:11-16
And we have confidence in the Lord touching you… 2 Thess 3:4
that doesn’t say we have confidence in you, it says we have confidence in the Lord.
That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Eph 2:7-10
Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power: 2 Thess 1:11
Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. Heb 10:7
Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; Acts 17:25-26
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, Eph 1:4-5
That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Eph 1:12-13
Then the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jer 1:4-5
Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee. John 1:48
Paul, an apostle, (not of men, neither by man, but by Jesus Christ, and God the Father, who raised him from the dead;) Gal 1:1
But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me by his grace, Gal 1:15
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. John 15:16
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, 2 Tim 1:9
Plans formed long ago, carried out with perfect faithfulness.
But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil. 2 Thess 3:3
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Phil 1:6
According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord: Eph 3:11
Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. Heb 7:25
Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. Matt 18:10
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith… Heb 12:2
Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, 21 Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Heb 13:20-21
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness… 2 Cor 12:9
our birth was not an accident or the will of the flesh, we were not a mistake in the back seat of a car even if we have felt we were. Even if our parents didn’t want us, God planned us.
Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. John 1:13
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:28-29
In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: Eph 1:11
Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, 2 Tim 1:9
even when our children walk outside the will of the Lord, He is not done with them, right before Simon Peter denied Jesus, Jesus said, “when you are converted”, not “if you are converted.”
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. Luke 22:31-32
Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: Isaiah 46:9-10
And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it. 1 Thess 5:23-24
I will be his father, and he shall be my son: and I will not take my mercy away from him, as I took it from him that was before thee: 1 Chron 17:13
sometimes we watch as our children do things that bewilder and frighten us, like Samson falling for that heathen woman.
And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the Lord, that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel. Judges 14:1-4
Sometimes I think the father in the story Jesus told about the prodigal son had it easier than me because there were no cell phones back then. He got to worry with no details!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matt 11:28
…I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2 Tim 1:12
I have also felt the incredibly devastating loss of a child and I would like to share with you a few scriptures that Jesus shared with me during that time.
The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness. Isaiah 57:1-2
And all Israel shall mourn for him, and bury him: for he only of Jeroboam shall come to the grave, because in him there is found some good thing toward the Lord God of Israel in the house of Jeroboam. 1 Kings 14:13
Because thine heart was tender, and thou hast humbled thyself before the Lord, when thou heardest what I spake against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, that they should become a desolation and a curse, and hast rent thy clothes, and wept before me; I also have heard thee, saith the Lo Lord. 20 Behold therefore, I will gather thee unto thy fathers, and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace; and thine eyes shall not see all the evil which I will bring upon this place… 2 Kings 22:19-20
But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 1 Thess 4:13-14
For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Phil 1:23
Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. John 1:13
And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. John 16:22
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